Monday, April 20, 2009
You Gotta Be Kidding Me
One of the hardest jobs I've ever had is being a stepmom. At times I feel like I have to straddle a thin line . . . not step on dad or the other mom's toes, not become the evil stepmom, etc. Anyway, I went to Noah's soccer game this past Saturday. I drove separately from hubby because he had some errands to run afterwards and I needed to get home and start laundry. When I got to the field, I'm scanning the crowd to see where Noah's mom is sitting because I don't want her to feel uncomfortable with me being there so I was going to keep a distance. I know this is her turf, I get it. My daughter has had a stepmom before and I know what it feels like being the mom and dealing with a stepmom. Noah's mom has never had an interest in meeting me, creating a relationship with me, nothing. When hubby and I first got married, he tried to set up a meeting so we could meet, but she wasn't interested. She doesn't really care to know the stepmom to her child. I don't get it, but she and I are so completely different when it comes to parenting. I've met her once and that was at Noah's preschool graduation. So I scan the crowd and I don't see her. I'm thinking, well, maybe she had something to do and dropped Noah off. I find a spot and sit in my chair, wave to hubby who is a coach and is manning the goal, and settle in to watch the game. The kids finish warming up and the coach tells them to go take their soccer balls to their moms. Well, Noah starts coming my way and I thought oh, how cute, he's bringing the ball to me. WRONG!! I'm sitting RIGHT.NEXT.TO.HIS.MOM!!!!!!! I didn't even recognize her!! I thought oh crap. I thought ok, I can do one of three things - (1) discreetly get up and move, (2) do nothing but then at the end of the game when you are talking to Noah they are going to realize you've been sitting there the entire time, or (3) re-introduce yourself. I chose no. 3. I got up, re-introduced myself, and became best buds with her mom (Noah's grandmother). The grandmother and I chatted it up the entire game. Hubby said later he was wondering what on earth we were talking and laughing about the whole game!! Noah's grandmother said she's the evil grandmother and I said that's okay, I'm sure I'm the evil stepmother. I'm so glad that I chose to handle it the way that I did. I really don't want Noah to ever feel uncomfortable when we are all together, and whether his mom realizes that or not, there are going to be times that we are all together.